This week, Holley Gerth (click the link, it will take you to her blog ;) asked us to tackle the “why” behind our God-sized dreams. Why is the dream worth pursuing, fighting for and seeing through no matter what happens?
Here is the funny part.
I don't have a God-sized dream. Or at least, I thought I didn't.
See, I don't have a physical destination that I, personally, am aiming for. Sure, I want more of God and His love in my life. But my mom's dream, it's big enough for the both of us. And I am a team member of that dream's destination. When we get there, I will be a part of what she is doing. And that is exactly where I want to be. I don't want to tell her story on here, since it's her dream, but since this post is asking ME why the dream is worth pursuing, I will have to answer with why her dream has become mine to pursue also.
The first, big, obvious reason? Her dream, the dream God gave her, is to create a place for abused girls and women. Girls that have been wronged by society in the worst way imaginable, and whom may think that God has all but forgotten them. Girls that have been abused: sexually, physically, mentally, and give them a hand up in life. To create a place where they can come and live and receive God's truth while taking their place in life, slowly, in stages, learning that they are worthy of love, happiness and a future. I want to be a part of that! I want to serve God helping these women. How awesome to see!
The second reason is so that I may use the talents He gave me. I am really good at some things. Being in the spotlight isn't one of them. I have never liked that hot light, the brilliant glare that you can't see out of. It makes me panicky inside. I feel like one of those little wild bunnies when it is directed at me. I just wanna run, hard and fast, far, far, away. But I am good at working behind the scenes to help those about to go on stage; to know their lines, their verses, or make sure that their hair isn't sticking up in a million places. If you forgot one of your props, I can rig something up in a jiffy to replace it. If your heel broke on your shoe, I will figure something out to make it work, so don't panic! Just keep practicing your lines! And to have a place like the one my mother dreams of, you have to have a behind-the-scenes production crew. You can't run a place like this all by yourself and still do what God has asked of you with these women. So, I feel that I am to be one (of many) support beams for my mother's dream. This is why He made me the way He did. Someone to help tend her garden, so she can do what God created her for, tending His garden. Aren't we all just support beams for God's dreams? :) (it rhymes! I love it!)
The final reason is for myself. God created each of us with our own special strengths and weaknesses. I have a lot of knowledge based strengths; comprehension, problem solving, and strategizing are a few. My mom, on the other hand, is a spiritual person, who works off of intuition and spiritual knowledge. I am weak in the area of faith and hope, but here, she is strong. We balance the scales by being so opposite. It can make things hard sometimes, but I believe that once we get with God and learn to work through our differences, not just on a daily basis, but to actually understand how the other one ticks and how to work through the types of disagreements we have, God will make the dream possible. He will have to. We can't do something of this scale on our own. Neither of us have anything. All we have to give is ourselves. Our talents, our hearts, our love, our faith, that God will do what he has spoken to us. And that is all He wants. So, that is the destination, and I am on the road, learning how to give. Everything. Even if it is not a strenght, but a weakness. If he wants my faith,and I am weak in this area, then it is up to me to take it to Him. He made us with strenghts AND weaknesses. The strengths are gifts, but the weaknesses? I like to think of them as tokens, like at an arcade. If you want to get a bigger prize, learn to see these weaknesses, accept that you have them, then take them to God, ask Him to help you exchange them for more, more of Him and His dreams. This is transformation of the self. This is what God wants from you, what He hopes, and dreams, for you.
This post has kind of transformed on it's own. I could go back and fix it, make it more streamlined and more to the point, but....that is what I like about writing. Ideas that are unformed in the back of your mind, things that God wants to say, they come pouring out when you just write. So, I am going to leave it the way it is and finish with this.
My transformation, my mother's transformation, the women's lives we will touch, the lives they will touch, and so on, makes this dream of ours worth it. Every growing pain, every doubtful tear, everything we have gone through and have yet to go through, will be WORTH IT ALL!