Faith, hope, and love...and the greatest of these is love. A blog about love, in all it's forms, and when it is absent. And why it never fails as long as it is present.
We all know the truth in this little proverb. But I was still unable to do as Holley Gerth encouraged us this week and take time to play. It is crunch time and with all the rain that my area is receiving, I have to make sure that every bit of decent weather is spent working to get the horses moved to their new place. I am sure that Holley would understand as she has probably faced deadlines before herself.
So, instead of telling you all about my weekend of hard work, I will show you what I want to accomplish someday with my horse, when I again have time to play, and why I keep hanging on so fiercely to keep these wonderful animals. Hope you enjoy the video!
Maybe I will post a video showing where we are starting and then post another at the end of the fall, when I have had plenty of time to play with Brego (that is my boy's name) for you all to see the progress we have made as we will be basically starting at square one this spring! ;)
It's time for a post!! Woot Woot! :) I am getting started on this one early, so I am not posting so late in the week. Afterall, it was supposed to be a Tuesday thing, lol.
This week, Holley Gerth (click the link, it will take you to her blog ;) asked us to tackle the “why” behind our God-sized dreams. Why is the dream worth pursuing, fighting for and seeing through no matter what happens?
Here is the funny part.
I don't have a God-sized dream. Or at least, I thought I didn't.
See, I don't have a physical destination that I, personally, am aiming for. Sure, I want more of God and His love in my life. But my mom's dream, it's big enough for the both of us. And I am a team member of that dream's destination. When we get there, I will be a part of what she is doing. And that is exactly where I want to be. I don't want to tell her story on here, since it's her dream, but since this post is asking ME why the dream is worth pursuing, I will have to answer with why her dream has become mine to pursue also.
The first, big, obvious reason? Her dream, the dream God gave her, is to create a place for abused girls and women. Girls that have been wronged by society in the worst way imaginable, and whom may think that God has all but forgotten them. Girls that have been abused: sexually, physically, mentally, and give them a hand up in life. To create a place where they can come and live and receive God's truth while taking their place in life, slowly, in stages, learning that they are worthy of love, happiness and a future. I want to be a part of that! I want to serve God helping these women. How awesome to see!
The second reason is so that I may use the talents He gave me. I am really good at some things. Being in the spotlight isn't one of them. I have never liked that hot light, the brilliant glare that you can't see out of. It makes me panicky inside. I feel like one of those little wild bunnies when it is directed at me. I just wanna run, hard and fast, far, far, away. But I am good at working behind the scenes to help those about to go on stage; to know their lines, their verses, or make sure that their hair isn't sticking up in a million places. If you forgot one of your props, I can rig something up in a jiffy to replace it. If your heel broke on your shoe, I will figure something out to make it work, so don't panic! Just keep practicing your lines! And to have a place like the one my mother dreams of, you have to have a behind-the-scenes production crew. You can't run a place like this all by yourself and still do what God has asked of you with these women. So, I feel that I am to be one (of many) support beams for my mother's dream. This is why He made me the way He did. Someone to help tend her garden, so she can do what God created her for, tending His garden. Aren't we all just support beams for God's dreams? :) (it rhymes! I love it!)
The final reason is for myself. God created each of us with our own special strengths and weaknesses. I have a lot of knowledge based strengths; comprehension, problem solving, and strategizing are a few. My mom, on the other hand, is a spiritual person, who works off of intuition and spiritual knowledge. I am weak in the area of faith and hope, but here, she is strong. We balance the scales by being so opposite. It can make things hard sometimes, but I believe that once we get with God and learn to work through our differences, not just on a daily basis, but to actually understand how the other one ticks and how to work through the types of disagreements we have, God will make the dream possible. He will have to. We can't do something of this scale on our own. Neither of us have anything. All we have to give is ourselves. Our talents, our hearts, our love, our faith, that God will do what he has spoken to us. And that is all He wants. So, that is the destination, and I am on the road, learning how to give. Everything. Even if it is not a strenght, but a weakness. If he wants my faith,and I am weak in this area, then it is up to me to take it to Him. He made us with strenghts AND weaknesses. The strengths are gifts, but the weaknesses? I like to think of them as tokens, like at an arcade. If you want to get a bigger prize, learn to see these weaknesses, accept that you have them, then take them to God, ask Him to help you exchange them for more, more of Him and His dreams. This is transformation of the self. This is what God wants from you, what He hopes, and dreams, for you.
This post has kind of transformed on it's own. I could go back and fix it, make it more streamlined and more to the point, but....that is what I like about writing. Ideas that are unformed in the back of your mind, things that God wants to say, they come pouring out when you just write. So, I am going to leave it the way it is and finish with this.
My transformation, my mother's transformation, the women's lives we will touch, the lives they will touch, and so on, makes this dream of ours worth it. Every growing pain, every doubtful tear, everything we have gone through and have yet to go through, will be WORTH IT ALL!
But how....and why? What do I say? How can I be so full of words, thoughts, ideas, and still have NO IDEA what to say? Should I make this an introductory post? Should I tell you my life story, my hopes and dreams, all about my family, my hobbies? Should I tell you all about how I recently decided that Yes, God does have a place in my life, and (guess what, I actually want him there!)? And what if people think I am boring or that what I have to say is stupid? I am scared of that...so why do I even want to do this? It would be so much easier to keep my head down, shut my mouth and go on about my business. But......
God tells us in his word that we are to be a light unto the world, not hide our lights beneath baskets or jars, but to put them on stands. [Matthew 5:14-16, Luke 8:16] And who am I to argue with Him? So, there you have it, the "why" of this little project of mine. The how...well, we will see about that, as I have no idea how to do this yet and it will probably not look pretty for a little while, until I get it all figured out. Hopefully the things I have to say will be beautiful enough to keep people reading.
Now, on to the title of my entry today.... let me explain.
I am an amateur artist and I dabble in a couple of different mediums; watercolor, acrylic, pencils, photography. Some day I might actually figure out how to post pictures of some of my stuff...some day. But anyway, I have always been a copier. Meaning that when I do something artistic, I don't come up with the image or whatever it is from my own head, I get it from someone else's work. I am not able to create an original piece of art for the life of me. But I have been learning that there are a lot of talented people out there just like me. And it doesn't stop them from coming up with works of art. They have always understood that just because someone else is doing something, doesn't mean that they can't do it too. That they don't have to be totally original. They understand that what inspires them can be used to help them make something inspiring too. I have always had a hard time with this concept. I have always been upset with God because I thought that he only gave me half of a talent. Ability without creativity. What was He thinking? What good was I as an artist who could draw and paint, but couldn't think up a single "original" piece of art work? I certainly wasn't about to call myself an artist. But since my recent wake up call (which included the realization that some of God's place in my life was to be the "missing piece," aka creativity) I have been trying to remember to ask him for help with this. And yesterday, on the drive home from work, while worrying about money, I started thinking how awesome it would be if I could sell some paintings, some original works of art that were not reproductions of someone else's creativity. So then, I started thinking of painting (so much better than worrying about money!;) and I asked him. Just like that, I asked Him...what should I paint? And I immediately received an image. Full image, full color, full everything. No pieces to put together, nothing to puzzle out. It was awesome. And it made me cry. And then He said to me, whispered in my heart...."Wild horses are pretty, but a partner is beautiful." And I cried some more. He had showed me a gorgeous idea for a painting of a wild horse (horses are what I paint best, thankfully he isn't going to put me to the test just yet!) And His words to me were really....personal. It describes me best. I have always been a wild horse. I have never wanted help. I have always wanted to be independent. Especially from God. My mom has always encouraged me to ask God for help, to lean on him, to trust him to use my talents for his glory. And I always tossed my head and said, No way, I will do it my way, or not at all. I didn't want him to get any credit for anything that I had done. So guess what? In a lot of areas in my life, I have done nothing, or nothing that is really credit worthy. And yesterday, he told me, "Welcome home, my little wild horse." He was happy that I had decided to become his partner, to work with Him, to do His will, to give him all my "pretty" and let him make it beautiful.
