But how....and why? What do I say? How can I be so full of words, thoughts, ideas, and still have NO IDEA what to say? Should I make this an introductory post? Should I tell you my life story, my hopes and dreams, all about my family, my hobbies? Should I tell you all about how I recently decided that Yes, God does have a place in my life, and (guess what, I actually want him there!)? And what if people think I am boring or that what I have to say is stupid? I am scared of that...so why do I even want to do this? It would be so much easier to keep my head down, shut my mouth and go on about my business. But......
God tells us in his word that we are to be a light unto the world, not hide our lights beneath baskets or jars, but to put them on stands. [Matthew 5:14-16, Luke 8:16] And who am I to argue with Him? So, there you have it, the "why" of this little project of mine. The how...well, we will see about that, as I have no idea how to do this yet and it will probably not look pretty for a little while, until I get it all figured out. Hopefully the things I have to say will be beautiful enough to keep people reading.
Now, on to the title of my entry today.... let me explain.
I am an amateur artist and I dabble in a couple of different mediums; watercolor, acrylic, pencils, photography. Some day I might actually figure out how to post pictures of some of my stuff...some day. But anyway, I have always been a copier. Meaning that when I do something artistic, I don't come up with the image or whatever it is from my own head, I get it from someone else's work. I am not able to create an original piece of art for the life of me. But I have been learning that there are a lot of talented people out there just like me. And it doesn't stop them from coming up with works of art. They have always understood that just because someone else is doing something, doesn't mean that they can't do it too. That they don't have to be totally original. They understand that what inspires them can be used to help them make something inspiring too. I have always had a hard time with this concept. I have always been upset with God because I thought that he only gave me half of a talent. Ability without creativity. What was He thinking? What good was I as an artist who could draw and paint, but couldn't think up a single "original" piece of art work? I certainly wasn't about to call myself an artist. But since my recent wake up call (which included the realization that some of God's place in my life was to be the "missing piece," aka creativity) I have been trying to remember to ask him for help with this. And yesterday, on the drive home from work, while worrying about money, I started thinking how awesome it would be if I could sell some paintings, some original works of art that were not reproductions of someone else's creativity. So then, I started thinking of painting (so much better than worrying about money!;) and I asked him. Just like that, I asked Him...what should I paint? And I immediately received an image. Full image, full color, full everything. No pieces to put together, nothing to puzzle out. It was awesome. And it made me cry. And then He said to me, whispered in my heart...."Wild horses are pretty, but a partner is beautiful." And I cried some more. He had showed me a gorgeous idea for a painting of a wild horse (horses are what I paint best, thankfully he isn't going to put me to the test just yet!) And His words to me were really....personal. It describes me best. I have always been a wild horse. I have never wanted help. I have always wanted to be independent. Especially from God. My mom has always encouraged me to ask God for help, to lean on him, to trust him to use my talents for his glory. And I always tossed my head and said, No way, I will do it my way, or not at all. I didn't want him to get any credit for anything that I had done. So guess what? In a lot of areas in my life, I have done nothing, or nothing that is really credit worthy. And yesterday, he told me, "Welcome home, my little wild horse." He was happy that I had decided to become his partner, to work with Him, to do His will, to give him all my "pretty" and let him make it beautiful.
Yes! Little wild horse, welcome home :)
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